The birth of ford
Sometime around 2:30am on March 10th, I had my first contraction.
I had been having some pelvic pain the last few weeks of pregnancy, so when I turned over in bed and felt some pain around the lower part of my abdomen, I thought it was just that. It happened two or three more times in the next hour and a half. I thought it could be signs of labor, but I was sleeping and I chose to ignore it. At 4am I turned in bed and suddenly felt a pop and gush of fluid — I knew immediately that my water broke.
“At 4am I turned in bed and suddenly felt a pop and a gush of fluid- I knew immediately that my water broke.”
I got up to go to the bathroom, dressed quickly, and went to do hip circles on my birth ball. Contractions were happening frequently so I used an app to begin timing them around 4:20. I waited for Colton’s alarm to go off at 4:30 to tell him we were going to be having a baby! At that point my contractions were two and a half minutes apart, a minute long, and intense enough to know that Colton shouldn’t head to work that day. Around that time I ran to grab the worksheet that Grayce had given me detailing positions that could help in early labor. I called Grayce at 4:40 to tell her that I was in labor — she suggested I eat a good breakfast and take a bath or a shower.
Colton started on breakfast for me and began cleaning the tub so I could take a bath. I’m not sure how long it took, but by the time breakfast was ready, I could hardly stomach anything. Really, by 5 or 5:30, I was vocalizing with low pitched moaning to get through each contraction. I called Grayce again at 6 and she told me to reach out to the birth center; I called and told them I was in labor. The midwife said to see how things went over the next hour and then call again. My contractions were still a minute long, two and a half minutes apart, and I began to have back labor. Since they started off so close together and hadn’t changed, I knew I should go by intensity of contractions rather than the time. But labor started off fairly intensely (with having had my water break at the beginning) so it was difficult to judge how intense they really needed to be in order for me to go to the birth center. I had been in our tub at home for while when Colton made the judgement call that it was time for us to go.
I called the birth center and Grayce again around 7:30 and told them we would be arriving at about 9. The time at home actually flew by pretty fast — I had been timing my contractions the entire time, and since 5am I had been focusing on my breath.
I breathed 4 seconds in, 6 out, 5 times. I counted the breaths on my fingers so I could gauge how many breaths until the contraction was over. I was dreading the car ride since Colton wouldn’t be able to give me counter pressure on my back.
“I counted the breaths on my fingers so I could gauge how many breaths until the contraction was over.”
Before we left he was getting all of our stuff together, taking care of our dogs, and trying to come and give me counter pressure when he could. He loaded up the car and put pillows in the backseat for me. When I got in I assumed an all fours position, leaning on my elbows over the pillows and swaying my hips. Colton had been telling me encouraging things throughout the morning, but at that point I wanted to focus and felt that I needed silence. I knew it was going to be a long hour drive there. I kept doing what I had been, and started to have a few different thoughts pop into my head — that I understood why some people wanted drugs; that I knew labor could stall when your environment changed (I hoped that it would so I could get a break); and that maybe I would take the nitrous oxide after all. Right before we left home I also either began to involuntarily pee, or leak a lot of amniotic fluid, so I was pretty annoyed when it felt like I was peeing all over myself and the backseat.
Colton noticed that I had started to fall asleep between contractions and asked me if I was in the “dream like” (transition) state, but I insisted I was just really tired.
When we finally arrived at the birth center I was relieved to see Grayce, and happy to no longer have to labor in the car. They got me in quickly, and soon after offered to check to see how dilated I was if I wanted. It was reassuring to feel like they didn’t care if I was checked or not — I was clearly in active labor — but that it was up to me to see how far along I was. In the car I was really hoping that I was farther along than 5 or 6 centimeters, so I definitely wanted to check and be assured that things were progressing. To my, and everyone else’s, surprise, I was a full 10 centimeters dilated and the baby was already stationed at +1. I was so relieved that all of the intense, close together contractions had already brought me to full dilation!
After this revelation they started to fill up the tub for me. I felt like I really had to go #2, which I knew meant that baby was low and pushing on my rectum, but it was still not great to feel that in the midst of everything else. The tub felt so amazing after I had to labor in the car, and it was so much more spacious than I thought it would be. Colton started to give me counter pressure again, and Grayce sat in front of me, encouraging me and placing cold wash cloths on my face. She also made sure I was drinking water —my throat was super dry after hours of moaning. I could tell some conversations were happening and things were going on behind the scenes which I was halfway paying attention to, but most of my brain was preoccupied with getting through each moment. The entire time I couldn’t really think further ahead than the current contraction. The only forward thinking related thoughts I had were ‘I hope this won’t go on for too much longer’.
I had also read plenty of birth stories where women clearly felt the urge to push and just went with it whenever that happened, so I kept wondering and waiting for the undeniable urge. That didn’t seem to be happening, although apparently my body was starting to push and I just wasn’t aware of it. It was very intense at that point and I began to feel afraid of the pain. I felt that I was having a mental block and was slightly resisting my body nudging me to push. I voiced my fears to Grayce and she reassured me that I was doing great and was going to be a good mama. Jenni, the midwife, gently told me that the next time I felt the urge to have a bowel movement (I had been complaining about it) I could push a little if I wanted to. I surrendered to the pain and began to push gently with each contraction. As much as I wanted it to be over quickly, I knew that when I felt his head come down a little then retreat back, it would be better to prevent tearing. I was later told that I was consciously pushing for 30 or 40 minutes, to me it felt like 10 or 15. I was disappointed that I didn’t feel an overwhelming urge to push, and felt that I had to put in more effort that I imagined. Pushing was the most difficult part of labor and then became a mental challenge as well. Although it was scary to begin to feel what felt like a very large head coming out of me, I pushed through the “ring of fire”, said aloud “I can do this,” and birthed his head while Jenni gave my perineum support.
All the while Grayce kept gently encouraging me and holding my hands. Colton had been feeling the baby’s head of hair, then told me that the baby had my lips! Baby’s head was out, facing up toward Colton under the water. I thought that Jenni was still giving me support and was extremely confused why she would be poking my butt. After I complained about this I was reassured that it was the baby’s shoulders trying to push out! I gave another push with the next contraction, and it felt like a gigantic fish swam out of me. It also felt like he was being pulled a little bit, which was due to the fact that he was slightly turned to the side and Jenni had to gently rotate him as he came out. After Jenni helped Colton catch the baby, he was handed up to me under the water and between my legs. His cord was short so I could only bring him up to my stomach.
I looked at my baby and was both relieved and in disbelief that the whole ordeal was finally over. I wouldn’t have thought to check the gender had Colton not reminded me. I looked and saw that our baby was a boy!
Ford had a gentle entrance into the world through the water and was quiet and content in my arms. Although labor was difficult, I’m so glad that I prepared mentally. It allowed me to have a natural birth and not have a single moment where I felt that I couldn’t do it. I’m so thankful for a straightforward and uncomplicated labor and delivery, and for the amazing support from my husband, doula, and staff at the birth center!
